Welcome to this weeks run down of the greatest gladiatorial contest since Kirk Douglas’ Spartacus got a bit fed up! Its the one and only (Thank The Lord!) X Box Friday Football League.

As you may, or may not, know, we are now embarking on a brand new league, following Shaun’s (Argentina) victory last time. However, to coin a phrase, its a whole new ball game. We picked the team names out of a hat, to see whom was playing as whom;

X Box Friday

  • Holland: Jim Harkins
  • Mexico: Martin Gardner
  • Argentina: Shaun Anderson (Whom has been picked to play this team for the third time in succession. In a twist of probability that Stephen Hawking could not explain).
  • France: Chris Ballantyne
  • Brazil: Rodger Patterson
  • Germany: Michael Bonnar
  • Italy: Jack Osborne (the new boy)
  • Czech Republic: Robert McKenzie (Yours truly)
  • Portugal: Alan Muir
  • England: Simon Muir
  • Spain: Scott Muir

Then, we now had new teams to get a handle on and get used to. And, it has to be said, it was kind of tough for most of us.

Italy and Mexico started off well, as did France and Holland.

However both Brazil and Germany found it a little hard at first to find their feet.

The Czech Republic eked out a couple of draws. However, their fluke win against the Germans was overshadowed a little, by their over-exaggerated celebration. If they gave a prize for being ungracious Jack asses, then the Czechs would get the Gold. However,in this humble writers opinion, he was sure that they were only joking.

All of this melted into almost insignificance, however, compared to the onslaught with which the Argentinians began their campaign. They romped far ahead, in a flood of victories which looked like the attack on Port Stanley.

Leaving many to wonder if there was anyone out there that could stop them?

Then the second weeks fixtures set off.

Where the Argentinians seemed to start right where they left off, with a blistering grudge match against The English. Whom played very well, but could not stop the tide of the boys based in Buenos Aires.

Germany have yet to fully find their feet. However, they recovered some ground with a victory against The Dutch. Whom experienced their own victory, by beating Portugal.

The Brazilians are also coming closer to their former form. With a blistering win over England.

It was a slow day for the French. They had to wait a long time for their fixtures to come round, but, when they finally started, they played very well. Unlike a Swiss particle experiment, once they set off, it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

There was light at the end of the tunnel for the Madrid Mafia though. With a brilliant goal which will have them cheering on the plains of Spain.

As for us Czechs. We may have held out for a draw against The Portuguese, but ended our unbeaten streak, with a loss against The Mexicans. Ay carumba!

All in all then, here is an overview of how everybody did.

  1. Goal Of The Day -I wish I could say Scott’s masterful, Maradonaesque classic, but I would have to pip for Argentina’s stormer against Portugal.
  2. Game Of The Day -  Brazil V Argentina.
  3. Player Of The Week – Shaun was on the warpath.
  4. Most Improved – Rodger.Brazil started slowly, but eventually found their feet. With an entertaining game against Argentina. Jim- For Hollands brilliant win against Portugal.
  5. Best Moan – Martin. Mexicans can get as hot as a tortilla if a play does not play out. And Shaun. When a decision goes against him, or somebody scores, he demands a stewards enquiry.
  6. Best Impression Of A Young Girl Crying – Simon. He felt as if he did not deserve to lose when he was beaten by Shaun. He may have had a point, but, then again, that’s life. Try and fill one hand with what you think you deserve, then try and fill the other hand with fertilizer, and see which gets filled up first.
  7. Most Cynical Fouling -Joint “Winners” (If that’s the right word?). Shaun was his usual epitome of sportsmanship.
    However, he had some competition from us Czechoslovakians, for our unintentional, but still pretty brutal, hacking job. We could have telegraphed every attack we ran on the other teams men. Sort of gives a new meaning to the “Czechs on the mail”.

There we have it. The end of another brilliant week of fixtures. Think about what would happen if all of the different countries of the world came together, just as they do in our league..

Then we`d really be in trouble!

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